To Starfish or Not to Starfish
To be, or not to be--that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of your lover's earth shattering snores, or to take arms against your lover, steal the duvet, and escape to the spare bedroom.
Whilst I doubt Shakespeare was discussing whether or not you and your partner should sleep in separate bedrooms, I know what I'm talking about. I'd like to get down to the truth behind whether it is better to sleep in the bed with your mate or to gloriously sleep alone; filling the air with your nose bubbles.
I used to believe that if you were married, or in a long-term relationship, you should only, and absolutely only, sleep together, side-by-side. The, very naive Valentina, thought that it was a sign of a dangerous hiccup in one's relationship, if you didn't at least have the opportunity to leave your partner huddled on the side of the bed, teetering off the edge, holding on for dear life...oops, I mean, dear duvet.
But alas, I have changed my mind, after one-two-six, hundred, seventy-fifth time of having a sleepless night. There's no political design on my part to lobby that all couples sleep, at least, occasionally apart, but one of a person that enjoys the mode a la starfish position to sleep in.
Allegedly as many as 75% of adults have trouble getting a good night in Bedfordshire (aka bed). After a couple of nights of Vin accidentally jabbing me in the back, we decided that it might be good for us to sleep separately.
According to the taste testers, sleeping in separate beds means less about the temperature of the strength of the relationship, and more about your ability to function properly throughout the day, i.e. getting a good night's sleep = you can focus on shit.
What should one do so? According to sleep and relationship experts (these two are not one large, pseudo-disconnected, job title), it's important to make a decision that is good for both of you, i.e. compromise (you know, the building blocks for any good and stable relationship).
Some couples, like Vin and I tried it when I was in pain with that unfortunate cyst on my tailbone, and it worked during that time. However, when we tried it out after I was released from hospital recently, I found that I couldn't sleep without my love, tearing down the ceiling with his snoring.
But this isn't a zero-sum game. It's really up to you, like most things in life. But just know that if you and your beloved decide to sleep apart, it doesn't translate into your relationship being in trouble.
