I Need A Personal Assistant!
Do people have personal assistants for life? Is there someone that can come in and help sew, run my business, work at my day job, make dinner for my family, pick out my clothes for the day, take V to school, laugh at my husband's jokes, help my daughter write her letters, brush my teeth, respond to Vin's Whatsapp messages, hire a new freelancer, read V a story and tuck her in for the night, look busy when my boss walks by my desk, seem interested when my colleague tells me about her date with "Are You Freaking Kidding Me?!?! #12," mail customer's their outfits, binge watch RuPaul's Drag Race, drink water, eat my lunch, and just all round be a better Valentina, than me, Valentina?
I know my former Social Media Marketer wrote about this before, but I can't even think straight, let alone concentrate on what it said. How the heck do you all keep up with adulting? I'm currently staring outside my window at Mr. Pigeon (yes, Vin and V have named this rather horizontally challenged pigeon who always comes and walks, leisurely around our back garden, like a person in love, thinking about all the ways their lover filled them up the night before.). I'm staring at Mr. Pigeon wanting to learn pigeon so that I can find out what he knows; how's he doing it; and what his partner says about how he's adulting. But I have my doubts about Mr. Pigeon giving up his secrets. He'll hold on to them like I held on to that last piece of chocolate brownie, right before committing to my keto diet.
Damn, the struggle is as real as Paris Hilton sex tape. Ugh!
Check out our new additions and the fruits of my hard work. But don't forget, there's more to come in the next week!
